The Science of a Happy Marriage

I loved this article please visit this link for the full article as recommended by Dr. Oz http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/tracking-the-science-of-commitment/

"But it may not be feelings of love or loyalty that keep couples together. Instead, scientists speculate that your level of commitment may depend on how much a partner enhances your life and broadens your horizons — a concept that Arthur Aron, a psychologist and relationship researcher at Stony Brook University, calls “self-expansion.”




To measure this quality, couples are asked a series of questions:

How much does your partner provide a source of exciting experiences?

How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?

How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?"

"We enter relationships because the other person becomes part of ourselves, and that expands us,” Dr. Aron said. “That’s why people who fall in love stay up all night talking and it feels really exciting. We think couples can get some of that back by doing challenging and exciting things together.”

The Cake I want for My Bday

Favorite Shoes of the Season

check out the top 30 favorite shoes of the season at http://www.kaboodle.com/fashion/seasonal-looks/slideshow/our-favorite-platform-heels1?startIndex=0

From Your Lips to your Hips

Ch 2: Overfed Yet MalNourished

The Effects of the American Diet II as adapted from Eat to Live by Dr. Fuhrman

Our natural sweet tooth should really be for fresh fruits. Reasearchers have discovered  substances that help prevent aging and protect the brain. Too bad our desire for sweets is typically satisified by candy bar and ice cream-not fresh fruit. The FDA estimated that average American consumes about 32 teaspoons of added sugar in one day.

If you want to lose weight, the most important foods to avoid are processed foods: condiments, candy, snacks, and baked goods; fat free has nothing to do with it. You must cut down from refined carbs like bagels, pasta and bread. Pasta is not health food-it is hurt food.

Empty calories are empty calories. Cookies, jams, and other processed foods sweeted with fruit juice" sound healther but are just as bad.

Another way that will keep you from your weight loss are salad dressings. Oils are 100% fat. There are lots of calories in just a litte bit of oil Fat such as olive oil can be stored on your body within minutes from your lips to your hips. Foods cooked in oil soak up more oil than you think.Olive oil and other salad and cooking oils are not health foods nor diet foods. Oil will add fat to our already plump waistlines increasing risk of disease including diabetes and heart attack.

Eliza

Cell phones Get in the Way

Much of my internet time is spent from work since I work in front of a computer 8 hours a day and massive amounts of gap time comes my way to browse and go on facebook  and whatever it is. I also keep my cell by me in case someone might try to communicate with me via text or very rare-a phone call.

I've been trying to turn my phone off when I leave work to stay away from all this technology but it's been tough. Since I went on my 40 day facebook fast for Easter, I haven't been able to not go on daily.

I was reading up on the nanny who called Ryan Seacrest yesterday and said something very true " Cell phones get in the way of quality time with parents and the kids" May I add it also does the same for couples with each other.

If you don't believe me, try to go on a date without taking your cell phone with you or even to work without it. How about when you're out with your friends leave your phone in your purse. It has almost become a vital necessity like really our lives depend on it.

Don't get me wrong. I love technology and the power it has given us to communicate with our friends and stay in touch with families that we don't see very often. However, I think it's become an addiction and it gets in the way of quality time and getting things done. .

 I'll be the first to admit it. I really hate it. Just the other day I was tempted to throw my blackberry in the blender.

It's not a problem to use it and have one it's just I feel like we've become so attached to it that it's not healthy. We even eat our meals and go to bathroom with it.


What do you think?

Eliza

Digging Our Graves with Forks and Knives

The American Diet Part I as adapted from the book Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman



Obesity is the number one health problem in the U.S. and if the current trend continues by 2030 all adults will be obese.



Studies show the initial weight loss is followed by a weight gain because even most primary physicians fail to look at the long term health of their patients.





Obese families tend to have obese pets which is obviously not genetic. So it is the combination of food choices, inactivity and genetics that determine obesity.





Extra weight leads to an earlier death.



Since dieting almost never works more people are turning to drugs and surgeries.



Surgeries to Weight Reduction and it’s Risks: The National Institute of Health (NIH) has reported that more than 10% have to go back for a second surgery to fix the problems they are having. They might be experience metabolism problems, stomach aches, gastritis, outlet stenosis and even death.



Dangerous Dieting: Americans have become obsessed with gimmick dieting which almost never results in permanent weight loss and actually worsens the problem over time. Some people even gain more weight than what they first started off with. Low calorie dieting doesn’t work either. You may not know this but being overweight is not caused by how much they eat but what they eat.



Eating large amounts of good food is the key to your success.



Regardless of your weight and genetics you can achieve your goal if you switch to a high nutrient diet style. As long as you are eating fatty foods it is impossible to lose weight no matter how much you try to work out. Eating healthy and activity will do the work.



As a rule of thumb, for optimal health and longevity a man should not have more than one-half inch that he can pinch near his belly button and woman should not have more than one inch.

Eliza

Chris Brown Syndrome

I am not for abuse nor do I think should it be taken lightly but I do believe in forgivenss and true repentence. A lot of times we become professional apologizers but the fact is no one cares how many times you say "I'm sorry" what people actually care about is what you do after you say "I'm sorry" Do you repeat the same mistake? Do you genuinely take the necessary steps needed to try to correct the mess you made. Sometimes it takes time especially if the person is in the public eye. Celebrity or not, that person who just failed is human. Those who are so judgemental toward him, they have a good reason but I don't think they should continue hating on the guy. He deserves a second chance. Besides there are so many more people struggling with the same problem if they see that by coming out or seeking help won't give them hope they might as well continue living in the dark. However if they see that they can get help and change for the better, Chris Brown could be a good role model again.

Below are some facts and info about verbal and physical abuse. Personally, I think verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. You can wound a person with one word just as bad as one slap. What do we do with the ones who cause us some much pain by the way they speak to us?
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Here is the specific  link to Trauma and Abuse http://helpguide.org/topics/trauma_abuse.htm

Another genre of abuse that I feel strongly about is child abuse and that is the worst becuse a child is too vulnerable to even try to defend themselves. If you think it's not ok to hit an adult why do you spank?
http://www.safechild.org/childabuse2.htm


I still haven't seen his performance from last night's BET Awards but I'm looking forward to watching it tonight. He is an awesome performer.

Eliza

The Knot

No one could have prepared me for how awesome marriage is and how working on it doesn’t have to be hard.




When I asked my husband what has surprised him about married life he said “The stereo types aren't true if you don't believe in them. They actually become a funnier joke cuz they are not practiced in our relationship. "freedom, outings, speaking my mind, sex etc"





We get the impression from our society, tv and even from some of our well meaning  friends and family that marriage is the end of your life. When I was planning my wedding, I had a few people pat me on the back as if they were feeling sorry for me. It’s not the end of your life, it’s the beginning of a happy ending.



I think a lot of times these stereotypes with some based on true facts can be a heavy cloud hovering on the relationship. You don’t need to accept it as your own. We joke about it all the time but refuse to fall into that category.

If there are issues when after you get married, it probably stems from something before the marriage. A lot of times just like some married couples think that having a baby could save their marriage, they make the same mistake thinking that getting married may solve the issues they have while dating.


If you can't resolve problems with compromise, talk about issues, have fun while and enjoy life while you are dating. Getting married to fix those issue will only put you in a worse situation and make things harder. That's when you become the Stereo Type and your ending won't be happy.

To be happily married is  to make a decision to love and be there for the other person every day.

With God, all things are possible.

El & Osh

Bachelorette Party

Both last year and this year we went to Adriatic Viall of Palm Springs with the girls for a Bachelorette Party.

Last year was mine which my sister in law organized and found this peaceful beauitufl place right by their downtown. http://www.adriaticvillaofpalmsprings.com/ . This year my cousin organized hers at the same place. It is just such a fun place to be with your girls. The rooms are very spacious. The one we stayed at this year was a Mediterran style room which even had a jaquzzi inside of the bathrooms. I definetly recommend Adriatic Villa.

Hairy Situation as adapted from Healthy Bitch Daily

I think a lot of times when something is aching or feeling wrong in our body, we go for a blood test or our doctor sends us to get one.  There are specific things that the doctor checks off on that blood test sheet for them to specifically look for-but even then it's not everything. When in doubt it's always better to get your hair tested.

 When you get your blood taken by a physician or specialist, it only reveals 24 hours worth of your body’s chemistry. But at the root of your hair, six weeks of your body’s chemistry gets locked into your hair shaft as it grows from your scalp.




Feeling tired or burnt out? Maybe you’ve got adrenal fatigue. Since minerals such as potassium, zinc, magnesium, iron and calcium show up in your results, a hair analyst can identify an imbalance of minerals as an instigator of low energy, as well as which gland is weak. These glands may be tiny, but they are responsible for about 100 bodily tasks, including keeping your energy, hormones and sugar balanced.



Wonder if the lead in your lipstick or your hair dye is in your body? Or maybe why you’re setting off metal detectors like a damn lost treasure at sea? Too much mercury - Cool it on the sushi. If so, Meg puts you on the metal detox program to support your body in getting rid of toxic elements; email support keeps you on target.




You don't need to worry about a bald spot or wearing a a pony tail. Just cut underneath your hair in the back of your head about 1/2-inch in length.

Rehab for the Bridezilla

I looked up Urban Dictionary for the definition of a Bridezilla: One ridiculous spoiled bitch that thinks she is the center of the universe, just because her "show" (the wedding) is 18 months from now. Everyone else in the world has to drop everything and come running in this prime-donna's mind. The marriage will not last more than a couple of years,if the groom to be is lucky.

"Man, get a load of that bridezilla. We should warn him that he will never have another blow job after getting married."





I've been wanting to blog about Bridezillas but been waiting for June to come around and the wedding season is finally here!



Speaking for my own experience a year ago, I personally just wanted to get the wedding over with and because I was having a wedding I knew I just wanted to have a good time. It's normal to be anxious, nervous, happy, overwhelmed and even a bit crazy, but don't drive the people around you crazy too!

Here are some tips on how to unbridezilla yourself:

1. You're the bride, not the drill sergeant. Stop telling people what to do, screaming, shouting and stomping your feet. No one wants to deal with you.
2. Everyone will have something to say about everything. Stop the bitchin and Get over it. Do what you & your hubby want.
3. Your extravagant wedding won't determine the quality of your marriage. Less is more.
4. If you have the money, please go all out but don't expect your guests to pay for it.
5. Only your inner circle really cares  about your wedding. The rest come for the free booze, food,  to show off  their designer dresses, dance the night away and if lucky, hook up with someone.
6. Your bridesmaids are not your slaves. Don't make them wear ugly dresses. Be considerate and let them go with what they're comfortable in-that way they'll like being your bridesmaid.
7. Not everything will be perfect. If something doesn't go to plan the day of, it's too late. Just brush it off instead of stressing about.
8. Lastly it's only going to last 24 hours. Why kill yourself, sever ties, and hurt others for something that is only going to last probably 16 hours of your life.
9. Look at the wedding as a party to have fun, dance, and to show off your new spouse.
10. Don't spend thousands of dollars on the cake. How much better is a $6K gonna taste??? Save the money and donate it to charity or save it for the honeymoon!

Eliza & Osh

Too Hot for Work?

Do you dress up to work? Or it's like eh whatever, it's just work I don't need to get all dolled up?

Well apparently someone got fired for dressing up, or I should say dressing hot to work.

I was listening to Ryan Seacrest this morning and he was talking about a CitiBank Employee in New York  City who got fired because she was too hot for the job. http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpp/news/national/debrahlee-lorenzana-citibank-fired-sexy-20100602


All I gotta say is the silky shirt she has on in the picture is definetly not work appropriate.

Great New Fad for Bachelor Partys

I'm really going to encourage this from here on out. CAMPING, WILDERNESS, REAL MALE BONDING.

No more of this Vegas Bullshit. Cock teasing, tempting, unfulfilling, cheap thrill, that usually leads to trouble.

Let's push for a new Revolution, the open air, the freedom, the getaway and the adventure.

Camping and the great outdoors recommend it to your friends you'll like it more than Vegas.