I wanted to do a birthday wish list to make it easier for my family and friends and for me if they ask me what I want for my birthday---here it is: Life Made Easy.
- Makeup brush set
July 19, 2010
Eliza's Birthday Wish list for her 27th Year
m really looking forward to my birthday next month. Can't believe another year went by so fast and I'm turning 27.
I wanted to do a birthday wish list to make it easier for my family and friends and for me if they ask me what I want for my birthday---here it is: Life Made Easy.
Micahel Jacobs Daisy Perfume
Gift Cards to Target, Starbucks, Mac, Aldo, HOME GOODS
BIG Trendy Jewlery for the Summer
SIGG Steel Water Bottle 24oz or 30 oz
Cute designed journal
Fake lashes
Big Jessica Simpson Hangbag JESSICA SIMPSON ESCAPE-STUDS-SATCHE
Wallet
Cute Hair accessories
Makeup Case
Big Deocrative Vases
Scented Candles in a glass
A white Diesel Watch
Ovation Hair Therapy http://www.ovationhair.com/
Lunch Box (Preferrably Pink)
Straightening Iron by Ken Paves
New Spirit Life Bible publisher Thomas Nelson NIV VERSION OR NEW KINGS JAMES
Starting your Day Right Devotional by Joyce Meyer
Sweetheart pink/nude dress size Small from Fashion Junkiee Online Store
http://www.fashionjunkee.com/As-Seen-in-US-WEEKLY-Sweetheart-Shaped-Strapless-Full-Length-Long-Evening-Dress-Dusty-Pink_p_4185.html
I wanted to do a birthday wish list to make it easier for my family and friends and for me if they ask me what I want for my birthday---here it is: Life Made Easy.
July 15, 2010
Cheaters: Not just the guys fault *UPDATE* in red
Pre Note/disclaimer:
I can't say all guys are the same. As we know not all women are the same. I'm going to the generals and the stereotypes, because they stand out the most out of the batch of great guys. I would also like to add that this is my opinion and in no way shape or form will truly explain all thoughts that go in the back of a guys mind, as we know sometimes there are no thoughts just action.
Lastly I would like to add that what is going to be written is not effecting my relationship with my wife, in which our marriage grows stronger as time goes, mostly because we really take time and care to work at it. We also love the challenge to prove all these statistics wrong. With love, laughs, and prayer we over come.
It's interesting how it is so much easier explaining why women cheat than it is for guys.
For women you can scientifically say that 8 of 10 cheat because:
I still argue sometimes that men are like majority of animals, I like to compare us to lions, but most of you women like to call us dogs. THIS MAKES SENSE. If I am a dog why don't I act like one. What do I mean by animal. In the animal kingdom most men instinctively have more than one mate. This is due to spreading our seed in more than one place, to seek more territory, and show the other males surrounding that we have are a big pack. In the early days of the bible (the old Testament), Moses, Abraham, were asked by GOD to attain more than one wife and create the world we live in. I'm not saying it's written the Bible so it's right. Those men were able to support the women, and their kids, and it was for GOD they were doing this it was part of HIS plan.
Now we have condoms and birth control, curiosity, and half naked girls prancing around in front of us tempting the lion/DOG.
Workaholic male: Let's take married who does work all the time to put bread on the table for the family. Most of the time the women is so resentful of him not paying attention to him, she doesn't take the time to tell him that she appreciates it. Women expect a lot of compliments, and have a tendency of not Paying any back. If women do this and give the man attention, just wait for all the attention that you will get from the guy.
He doesn't compliments he is gonna go somewhere else to get them. Doesn't matter if the other women is good looking or not. JUST ONE COMPLIMENT LATER a 5 will look like an 8 to the guy and an 8 is like a 12 in most guys' standards. (btw in women's standards the 5 is like a 3...in their opinion).
Doesn't want another Boss at home male: This somewhat ties in with the workaholic male but definitely a different take on it. We all go to work I understand that. We all have bosses that bitch and moan to us and make us do a lot more work than we get paid for. When men come home the woman likes to take over and be the boss. Guys don't do that. So what happens she bitches and moans, he shuts himself off, and gradually he starts leaving the house. Goes to friends houses, they start going to play pool, start going to the bar to watch the game. All fun and innocent, relaxing, just getting away from all the noise (metaphorically speaking). Then who comes along but women who wants to here about him, and wants get bossed around. Well things get started from there. If his wife and girlfriend paid attention to how his day went, instead of telling him how he didn't dry all the water spots off the white plates (which you can't see water spots on), he wouldn't run away to the bar.
Needs someone to care and show some jealousy: I've met the new generation of women. The girl who has been hurt in the past for being too attentive, suffocating, and clingy. So now she is too free and none caring with the guy. This leads the guy to stray and act single. You kinda become his backup plan/Fuck buddy. Who wouldn't want that right? Pretend you're committed go to most places with her, dates, outings, and trips. But when you want to hang with friends she leaves you alone and doesn't ask any questions the next day. There has to be a balance. If your guy or girl is going out find out where, question them the next day (was it fun? What did you guys do?). You'll make them feel that you care about them and the relationship, and it will be a conversation. JUST DON'T PESTER ABOUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. DON'T DIG ANY DEEPER THAN THE OTHER WANTS TO SHARE. Then you create balance. You share care enough for your partner not to stray too far. You will show concern about parts where you don't feel comfortable with (things that may have happened). You then will have an actual conversation and communication with your partner.
Keep away and stay on the correct road (this will be a long one): This is for the guy who goes to the places where he is gonna get himself in trouble. LADIES STRIP CLUBS are the least of your concerns, actually I'll go as far as saying you're almost better off being okay with your guy at a strip club, than the dance club. I've not once seen one of my friends or a guy around me get a strippers digits(phone number). In fact whenever I personally have gone to a strip club, I've wanted a girl to have sex with almost immediately, who else would I turn to but my wife or my girlfriend (easy access) after I've left the strip club. This is just it, women get mad at guys for strip clubs and being strippers where as I see them as your safest bet. If your guy says he is going to a DANCE CLUB, then he is getting off the road and into the arms of POTENTIALLY (i stress that because it won't necessarily happen) cheat. I have a tendency to go to even a wedding and scope the crowd of women dancing, let alone go to a club drink a few drinks, and my POTENTIAL of NEVER cheating turns around because I have strayed from the right path.
It's actually a very SIMPLE CONCEPT try to avoid putting yourself in tempting situations.
Don't just say you trust em, SHOW and PROVE it: I've seen this thousands of times. "Of course baby I trust you, but I don't want you to do this, this, and this." Then the guy gets a list of things he is not aloud to do when he goes out on a trip, or out to the bar with his friends. If a person real trust, they will let that person go without saying anything or asking for anything, just EXPECT THAT THE GUY WILL DO THE RIGHT THING. If you are not confident in the trust he will notice and he will start agreeing with your distrust (he will sought out to PROVE YOU RIGHT, if you still don't get it. HE WILL GIVE YOU A REASON TO NEVER TRUST AGAIN). Now I strongly believe that LIKE DOGS, guys are faithful to their owners. You own the pussy that gives the most and doesn't resist giving so we will be faithful. NATURALLY FAITHFUL. Don't give the dog reasons NOT to try other bones, he won't be curious to try them to see why you are NOT allowing it. Girls have this tendency to have these set rules in their heads that they like to enforce... HARSHLY. Keep your rules to yourselves, we have the same rules and morals in our head, WE JUST DON'T TALK about them. We believe (for the most part) on the same things. Karma, we wouldn't want you to cheat or do lousy things to hurt our feelings either (YES most guys have feelings too. WOW amazing huh?)
The stripper is working, she or he just wants your money NOTHING MORE.
But if you stay from TEMPTATION you will not get tempted and you will not come off the road.
Say he wants to go to a club with his friends (most likely friends are still single). His friends are gonna want to meet girls, or hook up. Most likely they'll need a wing man. Being the nice guy he does this (still with no intention of cheating), he starts a convo and hits it off.
If you don't go with your "single friends" you won't get in trouble.
Single friends tempt a guy A LOT. I personally have 3 single guys, but they are extremely chill, the one that goes to the clubs and parties knows not to ask me or tease me with it. It's respect for my relationship. I do remember when I was younger that we didn't have this respect for the coupled off guys. We didn't care who they were seeing or with they needed to be with us where ever we went.
The best advice for both sexes is Don't Wonder Off or Out of your Relationship path. Talk to each other know what the other wants and is ok with. Be faithful to each other, and work on the relationship, it's NEVER one sided work. STAY AWAY FROM TEMPT AND YOU WON'T be TEMPTED.
By Osheen.
I can't say all guys are the same. As we know not all women are the same. I'm going to the generals and the stereotypes, because they stand out the most out of the batch of great guys. I would also like to add that this is my opinion and in no way shape or form will truly explain all thoughts that go in the back of a guys mind, as we know sometimes there are no thoughts just action.
Lastly I would like to add that what is going to be written is not effecting my relationship with my wife, in which our marriage grows stronger as time goes, mostly because we really take time and care to work at it. We also love the challenge to prove all these statistics wrong. With love, laughs, and prayer we over come.
It's interesting how it is so much easier explaining why women cheat than it is for guys.
For women you can scientifically say that 8 of 10 cheat because:
- She doesn't feel fulfilled by their partners one or another. Either he doesn't say I love you enough
- (once a year on Valentines Day if he remembers.)
- She wants more physical affection and he is not always around
- (either long distant relationship, which almost never works) or
- (he is out working hard to put bread on the table and she stays home all alone)
- we'll touch on this one in a bit
- She needs a companion that listens
- (this one takes training on the guys part)
- we don't want to come home after 8 - 12 hours of work and listen to another boss yapper
I still argue sometimes that men are like majority of animals, I like to compare us to lions, but most of you women like to call us dogs. THIS MAKES SENSE. If I am a dog why don't I act like one. What do I mean by animal. In the animal kingdom most men instinctively have more than one mate. This is due to spreading our seed in more than one place, to seek more territory, and show the other males surrounding that we have are a big pack. In the early days of the bible (the old Testament), Moses, Abraham, were asked by GOD to attain more than one wife and create the world we live in. I'm not saying it's written the Bible so it's right. Those men were able to support the women, and their kids, and it was for GOD they were doing this it was part of HIS plan.
Now we have condoms and birth control, curiosity, and half naked girls prancing around in front of us tempting the lion/DOG.
Workaholic male: Let's take married who does work all the time to put bread on the table for the family. Most of the time the women is so resentful of him not paying attention to him, she doesn't take the time to tell him that she appreciates it. Women expect a lot of compliments, and have a tendency of not Paying any back. If women do this and give the man attention, just wait for all the attention that you will get from the guy.
He doesn't compliments he is gonna go somewhere else to get them. Doesn't matter if the other women is good looking or not. JUST ONE COMPLIMENT LATER a 5 will look like an 8 to the guy and an 8 is like a 12 in most guys' standards. (btw in women's standards the 5 is like a 3...in their opinion).
Doesn't want another Boss at home male: This somewhat ties in with the workaholic male but definitely a different take on it. We all go to work I understand that. We all have bosses that bitch and moan to us and make us do a lot more work than we get paid for. When men come home the woman likes to take over and be the boss. Guys don't do that. So what happens she bitches and moans, he shuts himself off, and gradually he starts leaving the house. Goes to friends houses, they start going to play pool, start going to the bar to watch the game. All fun and innocent, relaxing, just getting away from all the noise (metaphorically speaking). Then who comes along but women who wants to here about him, and wants get bossed around. Well things get started from there. If his wife and girlfriend paid attention to how his day went, instead of telling him how he didn't dry all the water spots off the white plates (which you can't see water spots on), he wouldn't run away to the bar.
Needs someone to care and show some jealousy: I've met the new generation of women. The girl who has been hurt in the past for being too attentive, suffocating, and clingy. So now she is too free and none caring with the guy. This leads the guy to stray and act single. You kinda become his backup plan/Fuck buddy. Who wouldn't want that right? Pretend you're committed go to most places with her, dates, outings, and trips. But when you want to hang with friends she leaves you alone and doesn't ask any questions the next day. There has to be a balance. If your guy or girl is going out find out where, question them the next day (was it fun? What did you guys do?). You'll make them feel that you care about them and the relationship, and it will be a conversation. JUST DON'T PESTER ABOUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. DON'T DIG ANY DEEPER THAN THE OTHER WANTS TO SHARE. Then you create balance. You share care enough for your partner not to stray too far. You will show concern about parts where you don't feel comfortable with (things that may have happened). You then will have an actual conversation and communication with your partner.
Keep away and stay on the correct road (this will be a long one): This is for the guy who goes to the places where he is gonna get himself in trouble. LADIES STRIP CLUBS are the least of your concerns, actually I'll go as far as saying you're almost better off being okay with your guy at a strip club, than the dance club. I've not once seen one of my friends or a guy around me get a strippers digits(phone number). In fact whenever I personally have gone to a strip club, I've wanted a girl to have sex with almost immediately, who else would I turn to but my wife or my girlfriend (easy access) after I've left the strip club. This is just it, women get mad at guys for strip clubs and being strippers where as I see them as your safest bet. If your guy says he is going to a DANCE CLUB, then he is getting off the road and into the arms of POTENTIALLY (i stress that because it won't necessarily happen) cheat. I have a tendency to go to even a wedding and scope the crowd of women dancing, let alone go to a club drink a few drinks, and my POTENTIAL of NEVER cheating turns around because I have strayed from the right path.
It's actually a very SIMPLE CONCEPT try to avoid putting yourself in tempting situations.
Don't just say you trust em, SHOW and PROVE it: I've seen this thousands of times. "Of course baby I trust you, but I don't want you to do this, this, and this." Then the guy gets a list of things he is not aloud to do when he goes out on a trip, or out to the bar with his friends. If a person real trust, they will let that person go without saying anything or asking for anything, just EXPECT THAT THE GUY WILL DO THE RIGHT THING. If you are not confident in the trust he will notice and he will start agreeing with your distrust (he will sought out to PROVE YOU RIGHT, if you still don't get it. HE WILL GIVE YOU A REASON TO NEVER TRUST AGAIN). Now I strongly believe that LIKE DOGS, guys are faithful to their owners. You own the pussy that gives the most and doesn't resist giving so we will be faithful. NATURALLY FAITHFUL. Don't give the dog reasons NOT to try other bones, he won't be curious to try them to see why you are NOT allowing it. Girls have this tendency to have these set rules in their heads that they like to enforce... HARSHLY. Keep your rules to yourselves, we have the same rules and morals in our head, WE JUST DON'T TALK about them. We believe (for the most part) on the same things. Karma, we wouldn't want you to cheat or do lousy things to hurt our feelings either (YES most guys have feelings too. WOW amazing huh?)
The stripper is working, she or he just wants your money NOTHING MORE.
But if you stay from TEMPTATION you will not get tempted and you will not come off the road.
Say he wants to go to a club with his friends (most likely friends are still single). His friends are gonna want to meet girls, or hook up. Most likely they'll need a wing man. Being the nice guy he does this (still with no intention of cheating), he starts a convo and hits it off.
If you don't go with your "single friends" you won't get in trouble.
Single friends tempt a guy A LOT. I personally have 3 single guys, but they are extremely chill, the one that goes to the clubs and parties knows not to ask me or tease me with it. It's respect for my relationship. I do remember when I was younger that we didn't have this respect for the coupled off guys. We didn't care who they were seeing or with they needed to be with us where ever we went.
The best advice for both sexes is Don't Wonder Off or Out of your Relationship path. Talk to each other know what the other wants and is ok with. Be faithful to each other, and work on the relationship, it's NEVER one sided work. STAY AWAY FROM TEMPT AND YOU WON'T be TEMPTED.
By Osheen.
July 02, 2010
Quick Guide to Yosemite by Osh
Intro:
Yosemite is a place of lovely views and sceneries, tree lined skies and granite mountains, streams, rivers, waterfalls, and lots of refreshing OXYGEN. Yosemite National Park is in the northern part of California. It’s dense with pine trees and has a beautiful valley of gigantic granite rocky mountains ideal for hikes and rock climbing or even picnicking under them.
The Stay:
We stayed at the Curry Village in Yosemite Valley. I wouldn’t consider Curry Village as a roughin it up kind of place, it’s more of a luxury camping if you decide to stay here. The sleeping quarters are tent cabins, cabins that have no walls but they have a roof and a thick canvas material covering where you would normally have a wall. With that said, it’s ideal to reserve 6 months ahead of time for the summer place fills up pretty quickly. It’s a very family friendly place, with lots of accommodations for the kids, I have included all these below.
Curry Village provides:
• Food
o Café
o Buffet
o Pizza
o Bar/Pub
• Accommodations
o Large swimming pool
o Bathrooms with hot showers
o Towel service
o House keeping like bed sheet changes, more blankets etc…
o Night time Story telling at the outdoor auditorium
o Educational tours
• Snack and gift shop
o Ice
o Coal
o Camping gear for purchase
o Snacks
o Souvenirs
• Tour booth
• Rentals
o Rock Climbing gear
o Bicycle
If you choose Curry Village as your stay, pack light. Pack for only the hikes that you may go on. We made the mistake of packing for almost 3 picnics worth of food and a 2 day hike. We only hiked one day and 1 day of picnic, we went to eat pizza one night, and the next coffee. So as you can tell this place provides most of what you need.
Hiking:
We only have gone on day hikes. So I’m going to list things you can take (optional) and things you’ll definitely need. Some people go for 2-7 day hikes but you’ll permits and much more sophisticated things then I have ever used or needed on my hikes so I’ll leave the longer hikes alone.
Things to take with you for a day hike:
• Comfortable hiking shoes (very important)
• Back Pack
• Cap or hat
• WATER (at least 2 small bottles)
• GRANOLA BARs
• Trail Mix
• Sun Glasses (optional)
• Towel (optional)
• Extra T-shirt (optional)
• Sweater (optional)
• Fruit (optional)
More on hiking and routes:
We had taken the Mist trail up half to Half Dome 4.5 miles. It’s called “mist” because you walk past Vernal Falls and all the mist and water from the waterfall is spraying on the way up, YOU WILL GET WET (more so early summer than late). In my opinion this the most breath taking and beautiful route. After you pass Vernal Falls for another 30-60 minute hike and you get to another water fall Nevada Falls its worth to hike to at least the top of Nevada Falls (you’ve come this far).
Now once you get to the top of Nevada Falls you have a few choices. Go to Half Dome (4.5 miles of extraneous hike), Merced Lake (14 miles of moderate hike), or just head back down. If you decide to take the Half Dome hope you have food and water cuz it’s known to be 4 + hours hike. Merced Lake an easier hike (6 + hours) but be prepared to camp there for a night before heading back.
Heading back down straight from Nevada falls you have 2 choices. The way you came up Mist Trail route 2.1 miles back down, but remember you’ll get wet all over again. The other route is called Happy Isle 2.5 miles back, not as much of a watery route. More of a tree covered along side the granite cliffs route. Although in the beginning you get some great panoramic views of Nevada Falls, Half Dome and other surrounding mountains. Mostly you take this route because you don’t want to get wet and the route isn’t as steep as the Mist Trail. Just be careful on the Happy Isle trail this is also the trail they use for the horses and mules so there is a lot of poop on the ground.
The End:
Altogether this is an amazing trip that whole family could love and enjoy. If you love the outdoors and wildlife this really could be an all inclusive place. There are a lot of routes to take for hikes. Nice drives to see enormous Red Woods, nice clear skies for star gazing, and the pizza tastes great after a good hike. Send any questions you may have I’ll try to answer as best I could. Other than that hope to see you in Yosemite.
Yosemite is a place of lovely views and sceneries, tree lined skies and granite mountains, streams, rivers, waterfalls, and lots of refreshing OXYGEN. Yosemite National Park is in the northern part of California. It’s dense with pine trees and has a beautiful valley of gigantic granite rocky mountains ideal for hikes and rock climbing or even picnicking under them.
The Stay:
We stayed at the Curry Village in Yosemite Valley. I wouldn’t consider Curry Village as a roughin it up kind of place, it’s more of a luxury camping if you decide to stay here. The sleeping quarters are tent cabins, cabins that have no walls but they have a roof and a thick canvas material covering where you would normally have a wall. With that said, it’s ideal to reserve 6 months ahead of time for the summer place fills up pretty quickly. It’s a very family friendly place, with lots of accommodations for the kids, I have included all these below.
Curry Village provides:
• Food
o Café
o Buffet
o Pizza
o Bar/Pub
• Accommodations
o Large swimming pool
o Bathrooms with hot showers
o Towel service
o House keeping like bed sheet changes, more blankets etc…
o Night time Story telling at the outdoor auditorium
o Educational tours
• Snack and gift shop
o Ice
o Coal
o Camping gear for purchase
o Snacks
o Souvenirs
• Tour booth
• Rentals
o Rock Climbing gear
o Bicycle
If you choose Curry Village as your stay, pack light. Pack for only the hikes that you may go on. We made the mistake of packing for almost 3 picnics worth of food and a 2 day hike. We only hiked one day and 1 day of picnic, we went to eat pizza one night, and the next coffee. So as you can tell this place provides most of what you need.
Hiking:
We only have gone on day hikes. So I’m going to list things you can take (optional) and things you’ll definitely need. Some people go for 2-7 day hikes but you’ll permits and much more sophisticated things then I have ever used or needed on my hikes so I’ll leave the longer hikes alone.
Things to take with you for a day hike:
• Comfortable hiking shoes (very important)
• Back Pack
• Cap or hat
• WATER (at least 2 small bottles)
• GRANOLA BARs
• Trail Mix
• Sun Glasses (optional)
• Towel (optional)
• Extra T-shirt (optional)
• Sweater (optional)
• Fruit (optional)
More on hiking and routes:
We had taken the Mist trail up half to Half Dome 4.5 miles. It’s called “mist” because you walk past Vernal Falls and all the mist and water from the waterfall is spraying on the way up, YOU WILL GET WET (more so early summer than late). In my opinion this the most breath taking and beautiful route. After you pass Vernal Falls for another 30-60 minute hike and you get to another water fall Nevada Falls its worth to hike to at least the top of Nevada Falls (you’ve come this far).
Now once you get to the top of Nevada Falls you have a few choices. Go to Half Dome (4.5 miles of extraneous hike), Merced Lake (14 miles of moderate hike), or just head back down. If you decide to take the Half Dome hope you have food and water cuz it’s known to be 4 + hours hike. Merced Lake an easier hike (6 + hours) but be prepared to camp there for a night before heading back.
Heading back down straight from Nevada falls you have 2 choices. The way you came up Mist Trail route 2.1 miles back down, but remember you’ll get wet all over again. The other route is called Happy Isle 2.5 miles back, not as much of a watery route. More of a tree covered along side the granite cliffs route. Although in the beginning you get some great panoramic views of Nevada Falls, Half Dome and other surrounding mountains. Mostly you take this route because you don’t want to get wet and the route isn’t as steep as the Mist Trail. Just be careful on the Happy Isle trail this is also the trail they use for the horses and mules so there is a lot of poop on the ground.
The End:
Altogether this is an amazing trip that whole family could love and enjoy. If you love the outdoors and wildlife this really could be an all inclusive place. There are a lot of routes to take for hikes. Nice drives to see enormous Red Woods, nice clear skies for star gazing, and the pizza tastes great after a good hike. Send any questions you may have I’ll try to answer as best I could. Other than that hope to see you in Yosemite.
Meat, Cheese and Milk
Wanted to share a part of Dr. Fuhrman’s book from chapter 3 regarding US government of Meat, Milk and Cheese. On page 65 Dr. Fuhrman talks about our government spending more than $20 billion to support meat, milk and cheese industry. “This money is given to farmers to artificially reduce the cost of crops used to feed cows” this is to help reduce the cost of dairy foods. Sadly, fruits and vegetables are excluded for their support.
Out of one pocket, we pay billions of dollars in tax to support diseases causing foods. Out of the other pocket, we pay medical bills that are too high because our over-weight population consumes too much of these disease causing foods. The reality is that our tax dollars are spent to make our society sicker and keep our health insurance high.
Dr. Fuhrman is actually very anti food pyramid because he feels that if each one of us were to follow it’s serving size we’ll all become a mummy. The pyramid recommends a lot of animal food servings that cause diseases and suggests we consume a huge quantity of low-nutrient content foods such as cereals, white bread and pasta. He also doesn’t agree the way foods are grouped together. For instance while nuts and beans are good for us, in that same group we have meat which contributes to cholesterol and heart disease. The data doesn’t allow enough vegetation for people to prevent diseases.
To prevent and reverse disease we shouldn’t yo yo diet but learn about nutrition and the quality of the foods we eat. Once we learn how to eat healthy, thinness and health will walk hand in hand, happily ever after.
July 01, 2010
Eliza's Favorite Ellen Degeneres Quotes
I love Ellen. She is my favorite comedian. She is cleverly funny and all that without the cussing and the dirty stuff. Love her. Here are some of my favorite quotes by Ellen Degeneres.
We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, "I have a problem with procrastination, too." I said "Really?... Get my sandwich."
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.
[about call-waiting] It's turned into a mini people's choice awards. Hasn't it? And you find out right away who wins or loses.: You're having a pleasant conversation with what you think is a good friend. You hear the click. They tell you to hold on. You're confident they're going to come back to you. And then they come back and they say, "I've got to take this other call." And you know what that means what they just said to the other person? "Let me get rid of this other call."
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.
What's with this sudden choice of disorders we get right now? When I was a kid, we just had crazy people. That's it, just crazy people.
[about talking vs. communication] Even when we say, "How are you?" we don"t mean, "How are you?" - we don't care. Just give us a "fine" or a "good" - a one syllyble answer and move along. And don"t even say "pretty good". That's a follow-up question: "pretty good" "something happen?... I don"t... have... time to..."
We stock up on popcorn and candy like we're crossing the Sierras, don't we? "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke."
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
"Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot."
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
"One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine."
I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that
You gotta watch her stand up shows especially Here and Now. Ellen Degeneres Here and Now Videos on YouTube
Eliza
We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, "I have a problem with procrastination, too." I said "Really?... Get my sandwich."
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.
[about call-waiting] It's turned into a mini people's choice awards. Hasn't it? And you find out right away who wins or loses.: You're having a pleasant conversation with what you think is a good friend. You hear the click. They tell you to hold on. You're confident they're going to come back to you. And then they come back and they say, "I've got to take this other call." And you know what that means what they just said to the other person? "Let me get rid of this other call."
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.
What's with this sudden choice of disorders we get right now? When I was a kid, we just had crazy people. That's it, just crazy people.
[about talking vs. communication] Even when we say, "How are you?" we don"t mean, "How are you?" - we don't care. Just give us a "fine" or a "good" - a one syllyble answer and move along. And don"t even say "pretty good". That's a follow-up question: "pretty good" "something happen?... I don"t... have... time to..."
We stock up on popcorn and candy like we're crossing the Sierras, don't we? "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? You don't have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke."
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
"Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot."
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
"One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine."
I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that
You gotta watch her stand up shows especially Here and Now. Ellen Degeneres Here and Now Videos on YouTube
Eliza
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