seemingly innocuous behavior can become an addiction

Recently I read an article by Dr. David B. Hawkins regarding Chat room Addictions. He did an interview with a married man who became friends with his ex and some of his high school girfriends which he ended up chatting with and eventually meeting up for coffee which led to other things. Eventually his wife caught up to him but he justified by saying that everyone is on Facebook. His wife became critical and suspicious. 
He spent more and more time online.
“Cynthia started getting more critical about what I was doing,” Cal shared with me. “She saw the warning signs I couldn’t see. I rationalized them away, telling myself everyone was doing this. Everybody is on Facebook. I asked myself, ‘What harm could come of it?’”
“So,” I said, “you kept reaching further and further into this new world.”
“Yes,” he said. “And I liked it. There were so many women who found me handsome, exciting and interesting. I started keeping some of my activities a secret, which should have been my first warning. But, I thought she was overly jealous.”

“Sounds like this all developed over a long period of time, Cal,” I said. “A little deeper with every step.”

“Yup,” he said. “Before I knew it I was talking to more and more women and I was excluding Cynthia from this secret life. I became preoccupied with who I might meet and how they might find me attractive and interesting.”

Dr. David B. Hawkins concludes his interview with the following. 

Let’s explore how this seemingly innocuous behavior can become an addiction.

First, we deny our pain. Cal wasn’t aware of how vulnerable he was. He had no idea that he was craving attention and encouragement. This denial made him vulnerable to the many opportunities for excitement on the Internet.

Second, chatting makes us feel good. No harm so far, right? Wrong. Anything that alters our mood and behavior should be critically reviewed. Anything that alters our mood has the power and potential to become addicting. We want more of the "drug" to make us feel better.

Third, we deny the impact chatting has upon our lives. We tell ourselves that what we’re doing is innocuous. We tell ourselves we’re not harming anyone, all the while becoming more dangerous with our behavior. We take greater risks, telling ourselves we’re safe.

Fourth, we begin keeping secrets. Because it is dangerous, and we know it is wrong, we start hiding things from our mate. This is a sure sign that we’re on thin ice. Anything we have to hide should make us suspect. We must live lives of transparency and accountability.

Finally, we get legitimate needs met illegitimately. Our needs are not wrong — only the way we are going about getting them met. Cal needed to step back, take an inventory of his life and marriage, and consider how he might spruce up his life. Rather than getting titillation from others, he needed to create these feelings from within his marriage.

Scripture offers us guidance on the matter: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). We must seek pleasures from with the safety of our marriage.

While I’m certainly not bashing the Internet, I offer a strong word of caution after seeing countless marriages damaged from unfaithfulness rising largely from Internet opportunities. Be careful. Be open and transparent, and most important, share your needs with each other.

“Wow dad treats me with chivalry”

From boys will be boys by Osh.

Chapter 2 “Wow dad treats me with chivalry” Treat that as you want other men treating them

Now that we did some wife bashing, we can move on to the next step. Our own behavior around our daughter will matter a lot. Treat her like you want the guy to treat her. Be Gentleman. What’s this mean? Bring back chivalry. When she is old enough to understand what it means to open the door for her, do it. Give her the last piece or bite of the pie. Put aside some of your time to have one on one with her and listen to how her day was and what she feels. YES LISTEN WHAT SHE FEELS and has on her mind.

You need to do for your daughter. WHY? This is to show her that she needs to be treated this way, this is how a boy should show her his respect. This is how a man should treat her now and in the future. She starts putting this as things that she likes in a man, and looks for it. Let’s face it not many guys treat women that great these days. This is your way of showing her how it really should work. 

Things you can do: Open her door if it the car door or the house door. Listen to her and the things she has to say, give her one on one time. Tuck and kiss her in goodnight. Support the hobbies and interests she has. Change the channel for the show she likes to watch and watch it with her.

P.S. Treating your wife with chivalry will help this process and have a positive impact in the big picture, ie: open the doors, listen, and spend one on one time.

The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother

 Boys will Be boys...by Osh.

Chapter 1 “He really shows my mom he loves her” and really sell this action

First step a father can take to secure/establish/ensure the foundation of a daughter that will follow in the right footsteps. This may be hard for some men, it also may come to some as a surprise, but to establish solid foundation of a safe upbringing of your daughter is to love her mother and show it(if you don’t love her, at least pretend to love her). Seriously though this doesn’t only apply to girls but boys to. The best thing you can do for your children is to love and show your love to their mother. Sometimes we can get frustrated with our spouse/wife/girlfriend, you just want to punch them in the face and tell them to shut the F up, but ultimately we have to put that aside, dig deep and really show the kids the true reason why we still stand with our wives or significant others in front of them.

Our spouses will be there after the kids grow up and move out, this is the one person who understands you, loves, and cares about you. MORE IMPORTANTLY they are the ones who have tolerated our SHIT, the ridiculous behavior throughout the years, the sports watching, drinking, looking at other chicks, the list goes on. We have to be honest with ourselves, without our significant other we wouldn’t take showers, or go to the doctor for check-ups. We really have a lot to thank and love her for, SO SHOW IT FRONT OF THE KIDS. You’ll thank me later.

Boys Will Be Boys..but they can do better.

Over the last two years, Hubby has been writing some good material on boys, how they are and how they outta treat their girls. Now that he is a father, his prespecitve has changed a bit and I think he has become a better writer on giving tips to guys and to our duaghter in the future who will be dating them.

I am going to be sharing some excerpts from his writings. I love reading his stuff.
Sometimes, I get a kick out of the fact that I'm married to this brilliant, smart, funny, sexy man.

Giving up the Myths about Protein- Like changing your Religion.

I can’t begin to tell you how often I get asked the question “how do you get your protein?” or “what about protein?” when people find out I don’t really eat meat. 

“Remember those four basic food group charts that we all saw in every classroom in elementary school? Protein had its own box, designed by a thick steak, a whole fish, and an entire chicken. Dairy foods had their own special box as well. A healthy diet we were taught, supposedly centered on meat and milk. Protein was taught to be the most favorable of all nutrients and lots of protein was taught to be the key to strength, health, and vigor. Unfortunately, cancer rates soared. According to research, we had to rethink what we had taught. Americans still cling to what they were taught. “

Any combination with natural foods will supply you with the protein you need. 

Which has more protein? 

Oatmeal, ham or tomato? They all have the same amount of protein per calorie. The difference is, tomato and the oatmeal are packaged with fiber and other disease fighting nutrients and ham is packaged with cholesterol and saturated fat.

Baked Strawberries

Here is a healthy sweet snack idea!

Yesterday, I tried baking strawberries in the oven for about 20 mintues without adding anything else to it.
I just cut the ends and sliced in from the middle, put it in a tray, turned the oven on 250 degrees and let it bake for 20 mintutes.

All the natural sugars of the strawberry came out and made it even sweet like jam, juicy and melts in your mouth.
It was also easier for Emma to eat it like that and she loved it!

Queen of Marketing

This is the family we all love to hate because they seem to have it all minus brains. But really, if they weren't smart, how could they come so far and last this long?

I think Kim Kardashian is the Queen of Marketing. How else would she be making so much money if she doesn't have any physical talent other than her good looks!

What do you think?

I just read that the family signed on a 40 Million Dollar Deal With E